How Could This Happen?

I am one week removed from my first chemotherapy session, and the title to this post is something I asked myself on a few occasions during that time. I don't lament in the "why me?" sense, but more in the I-don't-have-a-genetic-predisposition-for-breast-cancer-so-how-could-this-happen? sense. Also, the line reminds me of one of my favorite episodes of The Sopranos. 

Logic tells me that nobody can provide a cogent answer to why I was diagnosed with breast cancer, but my sometimes irrational head wants to know what forces combined to create cancer cells in my body, and what I could have have done to prevent their formation. Were they caused by stress, lifestyle choices, bad decisions, geography? I'll never know. What I do know is that I have an image in my head of James Gandolfini as Tony Soprano sitting at the hospital bedside of his nephew Christoper after a couple of his imbecilic Paisans decided to use him for target practice, muttering, "How could this happen?" Viewers of the show know full well how it happened, but Tony, in his blind disregard for the lifestyle he leads, can't seem to figure it out.

When you submit yourself to chemotherapy, your choice of activities during treatment becomes somewhat limited. Thankfully, in this age of technology, I have access to countless television shows I can stream on my laptop while lying in bed. One of those shows is The Sopranos. I've seen every episode in the series numerous times, to the point where lines like the one I've quoted come to mind when certain situations crop up in my life. This wasn't the first time, and it sure as hell won't be the last.

Even if you're not undergoing chemotherapy, The Sopranos is always worth another look; especially if you've already binge-watched everything on Netflix and are experiencing withdrawal. The episode I'm talking about is "Full Leather Jacket", the eighth episode in the second season.

Nava