Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Adventures In Roasting

I orginally posted this on Facebook. Since it's rather long, I thought maybe everyone would rather read it here:

Nava's Adventures In Roasting, Day 21:

The day started out on an amusing note as I sat in the waiting room watching an older gentleman volunteer from the American Cancer Society pile a new batch of donated books on a table. He pulled a hardcover book from one of his paper supermarket bags, looked up, and proceeded to cross the room to hand the book to me. He said, "I think you might like this one," with a smile playing on his lips. I looked at his selection. The book was, "How To Keep Your Man Monogamous" by that literary giant, Alexandra Penney. After a good-natured laugh, I said, "Thanks, but no." He laughed and said, "It's over here if you change your mind," walked back across the room, and placed the book on the table.

After doing the usual slip-and-slide into proper roasting position, one of my crackerjack techs said, "Oooh, it looks like we've gotten to you." I responded, "Excuse me?" He replied, "You've got some breakdown in the target area." Translation: the bastards succeeded in injuring me. I have a small sore in the area under my arm where the lymph nodes were removed. Since I have no sensation there, I didn't realize what was happening.

Upon completion of roasting, I met with one of the nurses, who prescribed Epsom salts, Neosporin and non-stick bandages for my "breakdown." Then it was back to the changing room to get dressed and leave. Instead of skulking out with my "breakdown", I somehow managed to pull the "Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!" cord in the changing room, sending everyone in the area racing to my door to see if I was all right.

I apologized repeatedly and profusely, Steve, one of my radiation techs, put his arm around me and said, "Don't worry; you'll be fine. Go out and enjoy this glorious day."

From the hospital, I went to pick up some Epsom salts. We have a more than ample supply of Neosporin, since Nurse Bubba anoints himself almost daily to treat ouchies he gets when he has disagreements with shrubs, plants, bushes, unfriendly dogs, and humans. I consoled myself buy getting some lip balm, because you can't walk out with just Epsom salts.

I just realized that I bought myself some lip balm last year, a couple of days after I was told I would need to undergo chemotherapy, and wouldn't be needing any shampoo for a long time. My rationalization was, you don't ever not need lip balm. How far I've come...

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